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One of the first steps in properly starting your self-care journey is to accurately assess the areas of yourself and your life that have been lacking in the care department, but also to appreciate yourself and all of the areas where you have not been lacking and maybe even seem to be thriving. 

 By assessing yourself, you’ll be able to prioritize which areas of your life have been neglected and are perhaps the more important ones. For example, as a mom I have been doing well in making sure my family has everything they will ever need to succeed in daily life. However, in overworking myself in that department I have neglected my alone time to recharge, clean the house (allows sanity), and not properly saved/planned accordingly for my own current and future success. In taking the time to assess where I was lacking and realizing was just as important or more so, I am able to properly plan my daily activities to an overall goal and make time for myself and my sanity not only for myself, but also for my family’s sake. 

  I have come up with a pretty helpful and accurate system to gage what areas I want/need to make improvements on. And yes, it does involve a series of questions that get very real and brings you to terms with the reality of your life and what is happening around you. To do this, find 15 minutes and a quiet space where you will have minimal to no interruptions. (If you’re a mom of young children, I sympathize with you. Do the best you can).

  This will be just a basic questionnaire as you are starting your self-care/ self-love journey, but they are deep. There are four major areas of self care; The mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual. Sound too complicated already? That’s okay, I’ll break it down into simpler terms and questions. 


  1. Are your overall daily thoughts positive or negative? If in between, why?
  2. Do you see yourself growing or learning something new daily/ weekly?
  3. Do you consider yourself aware and considerate of yourself and your surroundings?
  4. Are you where you want to be financially?


  1. Are you happy with the way you look/feel?
  2. If no, why not? If yes, why?
  3. Are you doing something daily to ensure your future health?
  4. Do you take time daily to remain active? Even if it is just 15 minutes?


  1. How do you feel about the relationships with your friends/family?
  2. How do you feel about your romantic relationships, if any?
  3. Are you doing your best to improve yourself so it will positively affect other relationships? 
  4. Do you have someone you can vent to without judgement? If no, do you journal?


  1. Do you feel you are worthy of love and respect?
  2. Do you see it given freely to you by others?
  3. Do you give it freely to yourself?
  4. How often do you take time to reflect on how you feel about yourself and why you feel that way?

These are just the beginning questions to ponder upon when evaluating yourself. Remember, the goal of asking yourself these is not only to assess what areas you can improve on, but also what about yourself can you appreciate. It is not selfish or vain to appreciate and celebrate the things you have accomplished or do well. It is a necessary practice that will also increase the awareness of when something is not done to your standard.  This is the way to accurately plan your self-care journey moving forward, and your mastery of self-love.


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